Musings on the Gemini New Moon

Welcome to the Gemini new moon tonight! 

I love it when I get a clear hit of what I want to write about for these musings, and this one arrived in the mail a couple days ago. On a friend's recommendation, I ordered a book called "Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature." It's a collection of articles by therapists and psychologists about the dual nature within humans, that we have both light (conscious) and shadow (unconscious) elements within us that make us whole. Or human, actually. 

When I opened this 300 page book I was so excited! Unbelievably giddy to have some of my favourite authors all in one place delving into these usually hidden realms. It was only witnessing my kid-at-christmas level of excitement that made me realize how absolutely fascinated I am by the shadowy nature of humans. 

Enter...Gemini season. 

Gemini is the sign of 'the twins'. If you're familiar with the symbol it looks like two pillars attached, representing the duality of the twins that at the same time are always connected. The Taoist yin/yang symbol is another great visual representation - two seemingly "opposite", separate elements that comprise a whole picture. I think these are beautiful representations for exploring the light and shadow sides of ourselves. You can't have the light without the dark. Even though the twins are their own entities, they are still always connected. 

To back up a bit, what I mean by the shadow is the parts of ourselves that remain hidden, unconscious. That we've buried deep down within us as a protection mechanism - that either don't fit our self-image that we project outwardly, or that we've been conditioned to believe are "bad", "unsafe" or "malicious". These shadow elements may appear in our lives in a variety of ways - as anger, rage, jealousy, manipulation, to name a few. The shadow generally remains exactly there, lurking in the shadows because of the intensity surrounding these emotions, of things we often wish we wouldn't feel, let alone admit to others that we feel. Hell, even admit to ourselves that we're feeling! And yet, I really believe that it is exactly by bringing these shadow elements into the light that our deepest healing, self-discovery occurs. 

Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a shadow side. Sometimes I feel like it's my personal mission to help people realize that it's ok to have these shadow sides to ourselves! Better than ok actually, it's real. I'd take real over (fake) "perfect" any day. Yes it may be messy, yes we probably wish we could never feel envious of friends or coworkers, or feel consumed by rage when feeling slighted. But the fact of the matter is - we do. We're human. By recognizing these elements of ourselves, not judging or shaming ourselves when we feel them, but merely acknowledging them, therein lies the "pure gold" as Carl Jung put it. One of my favourite quotes by Joseph Campbell is "the cave we fear to enter holds the treasure that we seek." Amen. But really, who is willing to go into that cave and face the parts of ourselves we've buried for a reason? 

Here is a very condensed retelling of a literary piece called "The Decent of Ishtar" recorded from over 5,000 years ago. I've been using it recently in astrology sessions as a wonderful representation of Venus' retrograde (that we're currently in), but I think it's beautiful for discussing the shadow too. 

Ishtar, the Queen of the Heavens, dresses in her finest garments and jewels and descends from the heavens into the underworld to take some of her sister, Ereshkigal's, power. As the Queen of the Underworld, Ereshkigal is furious when she finds out her sister's intention and so locks each of the seven gates of the Underworld, of which Ereshkigal is found behind the last one. Ishtar enters the underworld and at each gate is stripped of something precious to her - her garments, her jewels, her crown, but she continues to make it through each gate. When she finally reaches the seventh gate she has been completely stripped bare, left naked and vulnerable standing before her sister. Ereshkigal's fury has only grown with her sister's passage through the gates and so Ereshkigal kills her sister and hangs her naked body on a meat hook to rot... 

Ishtar has done this journey before to meet her sister and so had secured one of her consorts to come down into the underworld to fetch her. Her consort arrives and Ereshkigal is still raging with fury at her sister's greed. The consort takes a seat and settles in. Ereshkigal roars of wrongdoings and malice, of betrayal and deceit. She spews words of fire at the consort and yet he just sits there. Listening. Really listening. She continues on and on and on until finally, she stops. She's done. She's expressed the deepest emotions within her that needed to come out. She's been heard. From this new state, Ereshkigal reluctantly pours the Water of Life over her sister's body, reviving her. Ishtar ascends back to the heavens with a renewed clarity, a renewed source of power and wisdom from deep within her, granted to her because of her descent into the underworld. 

Phew! Quite the powerful tale, isn't it? And while there are many elements that could be interpreted and analyzed, there's one aspect that I believe is crucial in delving into the shadow - the role of the consort. If we take Ereshkigal to be a representation of our shadow side, that which we keep hidden in the underworld of ourselves, that which can seem to threaten even our own existence with its intensity, what is actually needed in this intensity is quite simple really - it's just to be heard. Ereshkigal/our shadow isn't something to be defeated, to be killed and conquered, to rise above. The consort knows he ain't gonna win that battle. Furthermore, the consort isn't trying to make it better either. He's not offering advice or solutions, images of rainbows and unicorns. "Well maybe if you just..." Nah. Nope. That's not what she needs. She needs to be heard, to express all of herself no matter how 'messy', to express all of her vulnerability in a way. Without feeling shamed. Judged. Or worse, disowning those elements of herself completely.  

This isn't to say that you should go ahead and spew fury at your partner/friend/family member, I'm definitely not advocating that haha! The one who needs to be listening (without judgement) is... you! Often times in mythology various characters are representations of the various elements within ourselves. And this is a perfect example. To gain the wisdom, the power, the insights of ourselves, we have to be willing to hear and own the parts that aren't as glamorous, as neat and tidy. Sometimes we have to meet our twin all the way down in the depths of ourselves, no matter how absolutely terrifying that can be, and just listen. Patiently. S/he'll tell you when they done. But if we have the courage, the resolve to simply acknowledge these parts, to hear the part of ourselves that wants to throw a tantrum of epic proportions, it begins to diffuse some of that 'otherworldly' power those shadows can sometimes hold over us. 

I have issues with some of strains of 'new age spirituality' because there is no honouring, no room for the shadow. It's all about 'everything and everyone being ammmaaaazing and let's just love each other and only focus on the light and nothing else exists!' Ok, sure, but... that's not real in my opinion. That's not where the deep healing, the deep exploration into ourselves and what makes us tick, occurs. How can we know ourselves fully if we're only seeing one side? There's an important distinction here - it's not about turning the shadow into light, but it's about bringing the shadow into the light. We're not trying to get rid of the shadow, that would be as futile as trying to remove our literal shadow. But when we can acknowledge and love ourselves not in spite of our shadow side, but because of it, well, damn! We are in for a treat of epic proportions. That treasure in the cave becomes ours for the taking. 

So as we bring in a new moon cycle in Gemini, let the twins guide you. Remind you that we are not one without the other. Encourage you not to fear the shadowy sides of ourselves, that it is just as much a part of us as what we present to the world. That there is so, so much wisdom and strength that lies with simply acknowledging that we have a shadow side. Why else would Ishtar continuously make the journey into the underworld! And if you do meet your (internal) twin and they starts to roar out of control, maybe see if you can just... let them roar. Being mindful to not cause harm to others of course, but to let them roar inside of you. Be felt. Be heard. Be acknowledged. And then wait for the calm, the wisdom that inevitably follows and brings you back into the light. 

Delving into the shadow isn't for the faint of heart, it can be some of the most intense personal work we do. But as Carl Jung stated -  "I'd rather be whole than good." Oooof! Slow clap Jung, slow clap. 

Sending much love to all your various, complicated, messy, hidden aspects of yourself. If I see you down in the depths, I'll pull up a chair, pour a cup of tea, and let you roar on :)  

Xx Faye