Musings on the Taurus New Moon

Welcome to the beautiful, earthy, pleasure-loving new moon in Taurus tonight - and on Earth Day nonetheless! Love it. 

While there are many challenges that have come with self-isolation and a global lockdown, there is a very Taurean gift in the rubble of it all. The gift of slowing right dowwwwwwwwwn. Taurus moves slowly, patiently, methodically. And it is exactly these gifts that have led me to this musing. 

A mentor of mine suggested that I start lying on the ground daily as a way to get out of my mind and into my body more. "Pay attention to how you feel afterwards," she said to me. And so I lay on the ground for an hour, feeling my body start to unwind. When I eventually rolled onto my side, I tuned into what I was feeling - so heavy, soooo slow. And the first thought I had was  - "I can't afford to feel this way. I have things to do!" Well doesn't that just say it all! To get anything accomplished I feel as if I have to be 'go go going', I have to move quickly and be ready to jump onto the next thing as soon as the last one is done. It was such a shock to me that that was the first thought I had, but truthfully, an unsurprising one. But my second thought made me laugh out loud - "Is this what Taurus feels like??!" Because it felt goooooood. I was slow moving and I loved it. I felt like the heaviest stone, that I could sink into the middle of the earth if the floorboards weren't there. But what came next surprised me ever more.

Once I eventually stood up I made the conscious choice to try and stay in that slow, heavy pace. I took the time to really focus on each step I was taking, reminding myself that I had nowhere I needed to be, nothing more important in that moment than feeling my feet hit the ground. In doing this I noticed that I land on the outer edge of my foot each time I take a step, rather than placing my whole foot on the ground. Literally 'walking on edge.' I don't know if I had been doing that for a week, or my entire life, because I had never slowed down enough to notice this pattern. This was so eye-opening to me, an insight into my restless, rushing nature that I sometimes overlook. Feeling like there's always something on my 'to do' list, a sense of urgency to get shit done. And even in a global lockdown, when options of things to do are more limited than ever, I still catch myself in that mindset. 'Shouldn't I be using all this free time to do EVERYTHING I've ever imagined possible?? Shit shit shit! If I don't do it now, it's never going to get done!' And therein I fall back into our societal trap that has become so deeply ingrained in us we can barely see it anymore. The story that if we're not doing, we're lazy. That we're not going to succeed, or be of value, or feel safe, or whatever our personal backdrop story may be. And then I just see this image of Taurus, with a sly smile saying 'Ah... you will learn... slowly...but you will learn."

Learn what exactly? That there are so many gifts available to us when we take the time to slow down. That we can learn so much about ourselves, our bodies, our desires, our dreams, when we're not focused on the next thing, but what is actually in front of us. In. This. Moment. I believe that's why Taurus is so closely linked with pleasure, because it takes the time to actually enjoy what it's doing! With no other intention or motive than actually just enjoying that moment. Since noticing that I walk on the edge of my foot, I take the time to place each foot fully on the ground. And guess what? It takes me way fucking longer to walk haha! I then have to call in the gifts of Taurus to remind me that that's alright. To curb my restless, sometimes impatient nature and assure myself that what needs to get done, will get done. But I don't have to be walking on edge for that to happen. That's no way I want to (continue to) live. 

And while many of us have been physically forced to slow down, that doesn't mean our minds have. Thoughts of - When is this lockdown going to be over? What am I going to do for work? Wait, what do I actually want to do for work? Am I going to be able to entertain my kids for another couple months without losing my mind? Who would make the cut if I set up a commune? Am I going to have to (theoretically) contemplate how to cover up murdering my partner? Am I ever going to have sex again if I'm not allowed to touch anyone? And back on the mental hamster wheel we go. Someone asked me recently "do you ever feel like you're still moving even when you're sitting still?" My cackle of laughter gave him the answer he already knew to be true. 

So with this Taurus new moon, I am recommitting to slowing right down. Mentally. Physically. To committing to being here in the now, and seeing what gifts and pleasures I can experience from simply taking the time to be aware. To move each foot slowly, surely, knowing and trusting that I will get exactly where I need to be, in right timing. Even if I wish I would "get there" today. Because taking a page from Mother Nature, she ain't gonna be rushed despite how much I never want to see snow again! She moves in her own, perfect rhythm, and she is reminding me to do the same, no matter how 'slow' that may appear. There is an infinite wisdom to nature and we are just as much a part of nature as the trees being on the brink of blooming. You can't will the blossoms to bloom just because you're ready. They bloom in that moment when all conditions are right. And only then. There is a beautiful quote I keep on my alter to remind me of exactly this. "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished" - Lao Tzu. And now I have another quote to add from my mentor -  "Slow the fuck down!" 

And you can let this Taurean song help you do just that and enjoy the pleasure that comes with it ;) 

With all the slow burning, delicious Taurus love,

Xx Faye